#58: dj hardcock, the urinal and matching transgender trucking caps
sent from vanity project's iphone with love
vanity project:
At its inception, Vanity Project was a burgeoning podcast run by international co-conspirators, Charles and Laura. Two and a half years later, it is a cultural institution run by besties still in love (and living in the same city). Vanity Project publishes dialogue (p- p- podcasts, sorry we still can't say it out loud) and occasional writing. We're the culture critics fighting extremely-online fatigue despite debilitating anemia.
the aforementioned loose lipped libertines <3
this is the online bit:
Which Sydney dj is ready to drop trou’ and get it up for music?! DJ Hardcock is a conversation starter. I was at Landing a couple of weeks ago, and I turned to my friend who was unreasonably tweaking with excitement. This a really sensitive sit-down deep-listening concert series and we were half reclined on beanbags, but what we really needed was some oontz and a podium to dance on. “We need DJ Hardcock.” I scrolled twitter to find the exact quote tweet with video. It’s a glittering image. From behind the decks DJ Hardcock is twiddling knobs harder than anyone’s done it before. My audience wide-eyed and gasping, I showed it to everyone at the party. Bestie Lev likened it to the friend on the playground showing you porn for the first time. He’s not wrong, but it’s about so much more than that. DJ Hardcock is about excitement [IT BETTER NOT BE SOFT!], it’s about inspiration, it’s about…how long is his set, actually? We can think of a few DJs who we would like to take up the mantle.
Image above: Laura sharing the good news about DJ Hardcock with bestie Nellie.
Question for the culture; is it ethical to share an ethical porn subscription with your ex? We tried it so you don’t have to. Pinklabel.tv converted me to what we’ve been referring to as ‘solo travel’. No, really! Not gay converted, but finally I had found the online pornography for me. It’s like the Criterion Collection of porn! Some are landmarks in pornography. Safe is Desire is an educational porno with the first ever on-screen strapon blowjob. The Wild Search is about a documentarian trying to answer the age-old question of ‘what is lesbian sex?’ The write up on the website says: “This does what Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble attempts to do in 200+ pages, and does it in under 2 minutes using nothing but bodies, dildos, and some skilled camera work.” And Mommy is Coming is literally by a director in the Criterion Collection. I logged it on Letterboxd! This is why we are the critics and you are the public.
The clock app
Vanity Project are looksmaxing. We want abs. Rick Owens says “it only takes one Donna Summer song of sit-ups every day. It’s not that hard,” but there’s a million versions of I Feel Love and the 12” is over eight minutes which just feels excessive. We are using this app all the time! Setting alarms to book in to reformer pilates, using the stopwatch while we plank and checking the world clock to see what time it is where you are…As Madonna said, “time goes by so slowly for those who wait”. And since we’re bulking it’s only 6 minutes to the perfect soft boiled egg.
this is the irl bit:
Our Matching Transgender Trucker Hats
To chase or not to chase: that is the question. As Madonna once said: “I don’t search I find”, and that’s exactly how we became the lucky caretakers of matching Transwest Fuels trucker hats. Our dear friend, Henry (@hotel.toast) was out on the open road to Armidale at a truckstop somewhere in New South Wales when he discovered these beautiful hats - and yes, that is the trans flag! The hero that he is, Henry returned to the truck stop to purchase a matching pair. Shout out to Transwest Fuels for being supporters of the LGBT. Like the fuel company, we are also expressing our solidarity and affection for the Transgender Life (see: Born This Way) by wearing the merch everywhere this summer in Sex-Sydney! Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win!
The Urinal
At the start of 2023, Vanity Project made a New Years resolution to pee standing up. No matter what you’re packing, it takes courage to piss in the pissoir. The little boys room is like a sub-public zone of partial exposure and indecency, and we’re exploiting the contingent camaraderie of pissing standing next to one another. The art of the aim is something Laura has been slowly perfecting with Charles at her side in the splash zone. “You’re doing amazing sweetie!”
Image above: Bestie Lev encouraging Laura to Go Piss Girl (dressed as Lady Gaga).
Beare Park
Do you have predator or prey eyes? Vanity Project are investigating the most famous beat in Elizabeth Bay, where David Bowie used to live (talk about predation!) By day, Beare Park is a place for picnics and pugs (be careful for the Sheriff of Rushcutters Bay who practices Tai Chi in a red tracksuit - his whooshing chi can be very aggressive and he likes to chat up “the prettiest people at the park” which is probably you if you’re reading this). And by night, it’s a place for earthly pleasures in the dark, in layman’s terms the boys are sucking and fucking at Beare Park. Was the park named after the bear community? Are there even any bears at Beare Park? Are we safe? Who cares! All the prettiest people are being preyed on at Beare Park!
bisous bisous xxxxx