iris:
Hey <3 I am Iris, or ‘Nectarine Girl’ to the masses. I am a fame hungry 25 year old who is obsessed with the colour pink and applies for every British quiz show on TV. I have lived in London my whole life and after graduating from The Brit School, I worked in fashion for 6 years. I hated it. I now write and send out my own weekly newsletter called ‘Nectarine News’, detailing my Juicy Couture addiction, meal deal opinions and Wife Swap episode recommendations. You may remember me from such classics as ‘Eggheads’ or ‘Blankety Blank’, or even that diabolical dating show ‘Love Bites’. All available to watch on demand, if you’re bored on a rainy day.
I have 7 tattoos, nearly all of them are words I like done in italic font, with the exception of ‘porridge’, which is in graffiti. ‘Halloween’ is the best one because it’s my favourite day of the year. Two facts for the price of one.
I am beyond honoured to guest feature, so thank you Joss <3!
major diva alert!
this is the online bit:
You’ve heard of Wordle, but have you waited until midnight every night to play the new daily game of Connections? Also created by New York Times, you group words together that share a common thread.
I’ll give you one now: gun, check, match, breaking
Playing it makes me feel so smart and academic. Which I am.
I also heard something about how mind games can prevent your chances of dementia in the future so I am doing it for pensioner Iris.
(answer: they all can be followed by the word point)
I am obsessed with nostalgic TikToks where they make you feel this weird pang of sadness. The best videos are the ones with that creepy sound called ‘aquatic ambience’ - listen to it, it’ll transport you to standing in a shopping mall in 2006. This is the best account because they’re so bang on and niche. You’ll find yourself in a “Caffe Nero interiors you have forgotten” hole before you know it.
I’m also really into the Frutiger Aero aesthetic at the moment. Don’t know what that is? Think Palmolive hand soap with the fish floating in it. This design style is so fun and eye pleasing, I hope we see it come back into modern day interiors.
Best show I’ve watched all year! Lol. When my friend suggested an American drama set in a college about love, sex, betrayal, drugs and a bit of death, I thought ‘been there, done that’ but no, this is amazing. The acting and casting is brilliant and the script isn’t your usual over the top cheesy American stuff. I’d even go as far to say, it’s raw! I binged all 10 episodes in 2 days. You should too.
this is the irl bit:
Nandos
Okay, not gatekeeping. Get yourself down to this small underground restaurant I have found before everyone else jumps on the hype.
All jokes aside, I am just absolutely obsessed with Nandos at the moment. I crave it morning, noon and night. I was scared I was pregnant it was that severe.
You may be wondering what my go to order is and as an extremely picky pescatarian, I am proud to announce it is The Great Imitator Wrap, made from pea protein. I like to season this with the lemon and herb option. Yep, a classic Nandos.
I also like to dip my chips into my side of mash and create some weird dog-eats-dog thing. Is that what that phrase means?
little known restaurant
Facials On A Budget
I have had a secret beauty hack for years and am happy to share with Joss’ gorgeous readers. I regularly get £15 facials from students studying at LSBM (London School of Beauty and Makeup). When I think of a student I automatically think of a spotty 14 year old boy, but alas, these are nearly professionally qualified beauticians who need people to practice on.
The school is based next to Farringdon station and they open Monday - Friday. I go every week if I can. £15 for 1 hour of cucumbers on the eyes, full extraction, shoulder massage and you walk blackhead free. It’s also somewhere to go if you just wanna have a cheeky nap in the middle of the afternoon!
Three Pillows
Two under the head, one to spoon. Deep sleep - always.
bubye!