#91: asking people out, sea moss & djcowabunga.org
sent from laura's iphone with love
laura:
Is this thing on?
I’m Laura in real life & DjCowabunga on the internet. I’m a 28 year old teenage girl from Sydney. I am the first Australian to ever move to London AND the only blonde in London, so you can imagine how busy I am with work/party invitations/grand openings with giant scissors etc.
As well as being a professional bombshell, flirt and silly-billy, I am also an actor and future director/writer. Intimidating alert!
I have recently graduated from disassociating and people pleasing, and am stepping into my speaking era! So don’t mind me if I have a little yap x
here’s my princess
this is the online bit:
Well, first things first. Might I recommend…surfing the web? No, but actually. I endeavoured to narrow down my fav 3 parts of the internet, and I was launched back to my first experiences of it. My brother and I on funnyjunk.com and ratemypoo.com. The relief of google when starting your 1000 word history essay the night before its due. Tumblr porn freeing me from the absolute despair of deleting ‘Les’ from the search history on our family computer at 14. We’ve come so far. Here are my current fav corners x
★ @shaheenorganic ★
I don’t know who the dumb bitch running this account is, but she and I are clearly on the same page with 2024 being the year of the ass. Ass play and butt plugs have been on my mind, but of course, there’s an added element to think about - douching. That’s when I found her page. Her punchy, bully tactics set against a bespoke, self care regime literally make me piss my pants everytime. “Musty bishes walking around claiming water is enough, are the same ones that be leaving crumbs on their mans diq”. !!! My face card never declines, and this year, thanks to her products, my “ass card” won’t either x
My ex and I nearly crashed the car watching these vids. We were so hooked, we put it on the dash on our way home ;P! The channel deep dives into murder cases (mainly in America) with our narrator talking through the psychology of both the perpetrator, to get away with it, and the detectives, to catch them out. These episodes will have you feeling like a sexy detective looking through double-sided glass. I’m not sure who the mystery narrator is, but he has worked hard to get every juicy detail, photograph and video of each case to weave throughout the interrogation room footage. For this reason, I suggest that only Scorpios and people with strong stomachs proceed, as it can be a touch graphic. X
★ DjCowabunga.org ★
Yes, I’m recommending my own sight!!! Sue me!!! Mainly because I need people to pressure me into starting my own blog. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been asked “Why?”, “Who cares?” & “Do you have ADHD?”…And my answer to all is…ask my therapist! Instagram is working overtime to shadow-ban and block anyone from ever seeing my page, so we needed to think fast. Plus! It’s been a wonderful challenge in learning how to build a website & online store, and also in graphic designing - add that to the resume! Check her out if you’re horny, an intellectual or need a new t- shirt (available now).
this is the irl bit:
As I was scribbling this in my notebook, two people broke up in front of me in Victoria Park! I’m talking screaming in the face and walking away. Life is so beautiful x
☆ Walking with a suitcase ☆
Although I previously felt humiliated by scraping my low-budget-absolutely-not-rimowa suitcase along the cobblestones of Europe, I am now at peace with the idea. Whether it’s a last minute ‘for the plot’ flight or something you’ve been counting down towards, isn’t it so exciting to go to a new place!!! Ugh, I am starting to sound so insufferable! BUT, I do think the commute is one of the funniest things in life; the grumpy 4am airbnb clean up before your cheap 6am flight where you immediately regret not spending that extra 40 Euro for a later flight. Then carrying your suitcase in 35 degree heat up a mountain to reach your room where there’s no aircon! It’s charming, it’s humbling & it’s all part of the adventure. Then one zhuzh and you’re in the piazza with a vermut!
☆ Asking people out! ☆
Somewhere in my post break up-whorish-coke dick-chaos era, I lost touch with the concept of asking people out. Maybe it was covid, or having been somewhat of a keyboard warrior since MSN; I have always known how to talk the talk, but been WAY too shy to walk the walk. I have obviously had my fair share of escapades in that time, but mainly when the other individual has approached me. I’ve otherwise sat on the other side of the room, making eyes and telepathically wishing for the other to approach me. And 9/10, they don’t read my mind and I’m left going “miss you x”. BUT, after one fateful night at a rock gig (yes, rock chick speaking!), I pointed out a Paul Mescal coded hottie to a beautiful friend of mine, who then refused to talk to me until I talked to this person. And boy did we talk. Who would have thought that asking people out would in fact result in them taking you out!!?? Wild. 100% recommend.
☆ Sea moss ☆
And finally, something wholesome. My cutie got me on to sea moss after viewing the viral Bella Hadid TikTok where she shared her billion dollar health regime. Sea moss is said to contain 90-something of the 100-and-something minerals that we need (don’t quote me on this) to function and flourish. And thus far, she’s working. Similar in taste to nose diving into a sand bank, you dissolve your sea moss in hot water, and add lemon and honey (or whatever it is you like). I feel v accomplished when it’s the first thing to hit my tum in the morning. I also used it as a face mask after I k-holed the night before, and I’m talking literal botox! You’d never know. If you’re not convinced, ask me in 20 years when I look the exact same x
And there you have it; my brain.
Miss, love and kiss you all so much! DJ x
miss you x